As a child, I was abused terribly by my parents. Like many small children, I believed my parents represented God. Also, I grew up in a fundamentalist Christian culture with the harsh concept of a punishing God. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As an adult and a Baha\u2019i, then, I\u2019ve faced a big challenge \u2014 trying to separate the abusive and unforgiving God of my childhood from the compassionate Supreme Being I believe in today, who is All-Loving, Ever Forgiving, All-Merciful and many other positive attributes I\u2019m reminded of in most Baha\u2019i prayers like this one<\/a> from the Bab<\/a>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Thy loving providence hath encompassed all created things in the heavens and on the earth, and Thy forgiveness hath surpassed the whole creation. Thine is sovereignty; in Thy hand are the Kingdoms of Creation and Revelation; in Thy right hand Thou holdest all created things, and within Thy grasp are the assigned measures of forgiveness. Thou forgivest whomsoever among Thy servants Thou pleasest. Verily, Thou art the Ever-Forgiving, the All-Loving.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n RELATED: Is There a God Who Writes Our Stories?<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Learning to accept a loving God is one of my problems, but another is asking God, nay begging Him for lots of things, many times a day, and then forgetting to give Him the time to work things out His way, with His timing. When I don\u2019t see any change within a few hours, I sometimes take it back and try to solve the problems myself. I\u2019ve made a lot of bad decisions by impatiently attempting to do life my way! <\/p>\n\n\n\n In the process of all my petitions to God, I\u2019ve come to realize that my concept of a Supreme Being is much too small.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Recently I read John Ortberg\u2019s book, titled \u201cIf You Want to Walk on Water, You\u2019ve Got to Get Out of the Boat.\u201d His premise begs this question: How can I be convinced that I am absolutely safe in the hands of a fully competent, all-knowing, ever-present Creator?<\/p>\n\n\n\n We have all known the pain of being on the outside, of not being wanted when they choose teams, of being spurned by someone we love, of being forgotten by someone we thought of as a friend, or being held at arm\u2019s length by someone in our family, maybe even our spouse. <\/p>\n\n\n\n In school, many of us longed to \u201cfit in,\u201d to be \u201cchosen\u201d as friends, for people to play with at recess, to be picked for sports teams. When we weren\u2019t, we felt downcast, rejected, worthless, and abandoned. How great an honor it is, then, to know that we\u2019ve been chosen by God, that He loves us and has plans for us. This is such an important part of our healing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n First those painful things happen, and then God tells us that He has chosen us! We are wanted by God, if by no one else, as we see in this moving passage<\/a> from Abdul-Baha<\/a>, the son and successor of Baha\u2019u\u2019llah<\/a>, the founder of the Baha\u2019i Faith<\/a>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n For I say unto you that He has chosen you to be His messengers of love throughout the world, to be His bearers of spiritual gifts to man, to be the means of spreading unity and concord on the earth. Thank God with all your hearts that such a privilege has been given unto you. For a life devoted to praise is not too long in which to thank God for such a favour.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Not only are we chosen by God, but His love for us is boundless and selfless, as we learn from this passage<\/a> in the writings of Baha\u2019u\u2019llah:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Rejoice thou with great joy that We have remembered thee both now and in the past. Indeed the sweet savours of this remembrance shall endure and shall not change throughout the eternity of the Names of God, the Lord of mankind. We have graciously accepted thy devotions, thy praise, thy teaching work and the services thou hast rendered for the sake of this mighty Announcement. We have also hearkened unto that which thy tongue hath uttered at the meetings and gatherings. Verily thy Lord heareth and observeth all things.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n This is such an incredible healing balm to those of us who have been used, abused, or abandoned by others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Quotes like these, from a prayer<\/a> revealed by Baha\u2019u\u2019llah, remind me that God\u2019s might and power are so much bigger than mine:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Every time I lift mine eyes unto Thy heaven, I call to mind Thy highness and loftiness, and Thine incomparable glory and greatness; and every time I turn my gaze to Thine earth, I am made to recognize the evidences of Thy power and the tokens of Thy bounty. And when I behold the sea, I find that it speaketh to me of Thy majesty, and of the potency of Thy might, and of Thy sovereignty and Thy grandeur. And at whatever time I contemplate the mountains, I am led to discover the ensigns of Thy victory and the standards of Thine omnipotence. <\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n\n
The Pain of Being on the Outside<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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How Can I Stop Believing It All Depends on Me?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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